Broken Prayers

If you grew up in a Christian home like I did, you have been taught how to pray from a very young age. You had to bow your head, close your eyes, fold your hands, and say it...nicely.

When you are a child, you don't understand the grey area. You just see black and white. You feel like if you don't do it "correctly" it won't work or you're afraid of getting in trouble. While a lot of this, "fear" fades with age, some of it still sticks with us as we grow older.

As we grow older, we see a lot of ugly. So, when we go to pray we feel like we have to pretty it all up or pretend that it is all okay. But, what we don't realize is that God already knows, he is just waiting for us to reach out to him. He wants us to be REAL with Him.

He isn't afraid of how we feel. He isn't afraid of us screaming or being angry towards Him. He just wants us to communicate, no matter the form. He wants ever scar and every tear. Give Him everything you have, because once you do, you will be healed in a way you could never heal without Him. 

Now, it might not look like the healing you planned on getting, but I can tell you that it is better. God knows our wants and our needs, and He will combine them to plan out a future created specifically for you. 

So, don't be afraid of saying a "broken" prayer. Don't be afraid to fall at His feet with makeup smeared and snot all over your face, because he hears you and he wants it all. You don't need to make the bad look better. Being okay is not the only way to reach Him. He wants every single messy word. 

Why?

Because He sees the beauty in your broken prayers. Let Him lead you there. Let Him fill you, and break into Him. You don't need your words to rhyme. It doesn't even need to be a novel. It can be one simple sentence. It could be a simple cry of, "God, heal me!" "God, mend me!" That is all He needs.

Give Him all you have with no holding back. Cry to Him, desperately, in that dark place you have found yourself in. If you need to pray in a fetal position, pray in that position. If you need to just scream, scream your prayer. If you need to sob out your prayer, cry through that prayer.

All that matters is that you pray. 

And He thinks the most beautiful prayers are the broken ones.

Much love,

Kylie